Dykes To Watch Out For by Alison Bechdel

Buying the Farm

©.999 SY AL SON BECHIEL-

DIGGER, CHILL! YOU'RE GET. TING TOO OLD FOR THIS!

I'M ALL PACKED. I LEFT STUART'S -NUMBER BY THE PHONE IN CASE ANYONE NEEDS ME.

286

LORNA!

I DIDN'T THINK YOU

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

LADIES WOULD BE HERE. DIDN'T MY OFFICE CALL YOU?

SPARROW, PLEASE DON'T DO THIS!

YOU CAN'T BREAK UP THE HOUSEHOLD. WE'RE...WE'RE FAMILY.

THAT'S THE PROD LEM. LOOK, IT'S ONLY FOR A LITTLE WHILE. I NEED SOME SPACE.

I WAS JUST VENTING WHEN I SAID ALL THAT STUFF ABOUT YOU AND STUART. I'M OVER IT!

SHE'S REALLY COME AROUND, SPARROW. I'VE TALKED TO HER.

SHUT UP, LOIS. I WAS FINE ABOUT IT TILL YOU STARTED WITH THE HETEROSEXUAL PANIC.

MAY 1, 1998

GAY PEOPLE's ChronICLE

35

YOU TWO ARE GONNA HAVE TO SORT IT OUT ON YOUR OWN. I NEED TO BE IN A MORE SUPPOR TIVE ENVIRONMENT.

SPARROW, WE'RE YOUR FRIENDS! I DON'T THINK IT'S SUCH A GOOD IDEA THAT YOU GO TO STUART'S PLACE. YOU HARDLY KNOW HIM. AND I'D SAY THE SAME THING IF HE WERE A WOMAN!

NO, THEY DIDN'T

WELL, YOU WON'T MIND IF I BRING A CLIENT THROUGH. HE'S LOOKING FOR A RENTAL PROPERTY. IF IT WORKS OUT, YOU COULD GET TO STAY HERE.

I COULDA TOLD YOU

A DOG LIVED HERE. THE

YARD'S A MESS. PEOPLE WHO RENT TO DOG OWNERS ARE NUTS.

LISTEN. YOU CAN'T JUST COME IN HERE WITH. OUT ANY WARNING!

I KNOW, HON. I'LL SPEAK TO MY SECRETARY ABOUT IT. LET'S START WITH THE BASEMENT, MRW.

SEE THERE? LOOKIT WHAT THAT MUTT'S DONE TO THE

WOODWORK.

OKAY, OUT! I MEAN IT OR 1 SET THE HOUND LOOSE!

WELL! YOUR LANDLORD'LL HEAR ABOUT THIS!

JEEZIZ! BUNCHA NUT JOBS.

WOW! WAY TA GO. GINGER!

A

EXCEPT

SHE'D SAY DING

"YOU HARDLY.

KNOW HER."

THAT'S HER. I MEAN HIM.

DONG

Wurf!

YEAH. THIS'LL

BE EXCITING. I'VE NEVER BEEN EVICTED BEFORE.

NO ONE'S EVIC-

TING ANYONE, LADIES. I'M GONNA BUY THIS DAMN HOUSE!

POSSESSED GLEAM

Yiper ARE

GRRR! 1

COME

ON IN, MR. WIENER!

The Mostly Unfabulous Social Life of Ethan Green

So it turns out that Jerry & George were leading these Terribly CONFLICTed, disavowedly HomoSexual double Lives.

The George You Never SAW ON Camera OWNS A SMALL ANTIQUES BUSINESS IN NEW HOPE, PENNSLY~ VANIA, AND COMMuted To The City ON THURSDAY NIGHTS To Do The SHOW..

CLOSED

ARP?

O

'WUF!

by Eric Orner

..AND Jerry is A Performer ALRIGHT, BUT, WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW INVOLVES HEAVY MAKE UP, SequiNNED GOWNS, AND A regular gig M.C.ing THE "Mister Hot Buns” CONTEST AT a Tired OLD SPOT IN LAKE RONKON KOMA

ALSO, THAT SOUP Nazi? well Jerry DATed him for Three Years before FALLING For A Chelsea boy And ending The RELATIONSHIP FASTer Than you CAN SAY GAZPACHO..

HELLO Troy-

and

Goodbye

VLaDesh

ALL The While Jerry's mom diliGENTLY ORGANized A PFLAG CHAPTer AT her FLoriDA CONDOMIN~ ium COMPLEX..

ELAINE, of course, was Aware OF ALL This, & WithOUT OBJECTION, SO LONG AS The boys didn't Come ONTO "PUTTY"; who everyone ON The Island Had LUSTe& AFTer For Ages, but who, sadly it was umderstood, is JUST A STRAIGHT boy who GETS OFF ON TEASING The QueeNS...

I THINK THAT You Look LOVELY IN

THAT MOCK Turtle Neck.gerry

REALLY PUTTY,

You do?

LEAFLETTING OUT

Sipe The Eckard's

We Give Good Head

PEL PELAG

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